


He Sought Bravery

by PandoraButler



Series: Black Butler Backstories [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Eric is a good noodle, F/M, Feelings?, it's sad but not really tear worthy, probably out of character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 08:05:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: This is the backstory of Eric Slingby. The story of how he turned into a reaper. And, as we all know, reapers were humans that have committed suicide. After being rejected by the girl he loved, he ends up meeting someone else entirely. The two go on a date but it meets a tragic end.





	He Sought Bravery

Qualities don’t make a person brave, his/her actions do. Anybody can make a brave decision, just most people choose not to. Qualities are unrelated to a person. They help describe said person but they are rarely  _permanent_. People change, but at the same time they remain constant. It’s hard to explain exactly what is meant by this. For the most part, who decides what makes a person brave? The “qualities” of a brave person would be perseverance, ignorance, cockiness, and fear. Yes, fear. Cowards choose to follow the ways of “fear” but the brave will use their “fear” for fuel against the enemy. The “hero” in a fairytale is often considered brave. However, to the cynical eye, one might find the “hero” foolish instead.

The male standing here, before his love interest, might be considered brave. He had called her out here tonight to confess his feelings. He had practiced the line over and over again in his head, “I like you, will you go out with me?” he asked.

She smiled, alebiet sadly, and shook her head, “No, I’m sorry, I already have a girlfriend,” and just like that he was rejected. His heart was torn in two.

“I see,” he responded, “I’m sorry to bother you,” he said. The male turned around and left the girl. He’d been crushed. There was no hope for him now. Just like that. The brave man would’ve been better served to remain the coward. No. He had just been pretending to be a brave man. In truth, he had always been a coward. He knew, somewhere in his heart, that the woman was already taken. He had subconsciously fallen for someone that he would never be able to have. Because he feared the idea of truly loving someone.

He kicked a rock as he walked and sighed. He’d always been like this. He was a coward. Too afraid to become attached. His mother had become attached to his father and then years down the road they separated. What was the point in staying with someone? If you knew that person would leave you in the end? His mind of minds began to think that way. Before he knew it, he had been avoiding romance altogether.

“Why am I like this?” he asked himself. He’d asked himself this question over and over and over again. “Why am I like this?” he shed a few tears. He wished with all of his heart that he could be the hero. He wanted to save someone. He wanted to be anything  _but_  the coward that he was.

He leaned over the protective railing on the bridge and stared at the water running underneath him. He looked at his reflection and scoffed. What kind of person was he? What kind of human? Everything he saw just seemed like a poor imitation of something else. Who did he want to become? What did he want to do? There were no answers. The reflection staring back at him didn’t say a word.

“Careful there,” a voice called. It startled him and he lost his grip on the railing. He fell towards the water. A hand caught him. He looked at his savior to see a beautiful woman standing there. She had luscious red hair. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. Could this be what falling in love at first sight was like?

She helped him regain his footing. She smiled. She introduced herself, “My name is Gou. You should be more careful next time,” she said. He could barely pay attention to a word that was spoken. He was too distracted by her beauty. Silly him, it didn’t take him long to get over his broken heart.

“Cat got your tongue? Or am I just  _that_  gorgeous,” she laughed. “Hey, do you know how to play shogi?” she asked. He still couldn’t find it in him to speak. This was his chance. He should say something. However, he wasn't brave. He couldn’t say a word.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” she grabbed his hand and led him to a nearby park. There was a game going on. It must’ve been ‘shogi.’ That’s what he assumed. He didn’t know the first thing about how to play. However, that didn’t stop him from wanting to impress her. That is, if she wanted him to play.

“Who do you think will win?” she whispered just loud enough so that he could hear. “The old guy or the young one? Personally, I think the young one is cuter so I’m hoping he wins. He has nice muscles too. In any case, if the old guy wins, how about we go on a date? If the young guy wins, we still go on a date, but you have to pay,” she winked. He wasn’t sure how to feel. They were going to go on a date either way. What was this uneasiness he felt in his chest? He still couldn’t manage to say a single word to her. She was nothing like anyone he’d ever met before.

The two watched with anticipation as the people before them battled it out. He couldn’t stop thinking about what kind of date he’d be dragged on. Should he be concerned about his wallet? He didn’t have much money to begin with. However, lucky for him, the old guy won.

“Aw,” she pouted, “I was really hoping the cute one would win,” she sighed, “but that’s okay. You’re plenty cute yourself,” she winked and clung to his arm. He didn’t know how to react but he could feel his cheeks warming up. Were people allowed to be this attractive? Surely that is a crime. No?

She led him to the nearest ice cream shop and the two shared a cone. It would seem she didn’t have much money either. Or, maybe she just wanted to indirectly kiss a stranger. In either case, the two sat on the side of a building and licked ice cream with their legs hanging off the edge. Why was the ice cream parlor on the top of such a dangerous building? It must not get very much business. These were the types of things running through his mind. He had to think about trivial things or he’d be distracted by her beauty all over again. He didn’t want to stare too much, so he tried very hard to think of whatever he could.

The sun was setting behind her. The reddish glow of the clouds matched her hair perfectly. It was a brilliant picture. He would remember this for the rest of his life. He promised himself. The day he nearly died and the day he went on a date with a stranger. He was happy to be rejected by the other girl. She wasn’t worth the heartbreak.

“You’re finally smiling,” she said with a grin. “I’m glad.”

He realized this must’ve all been an attempt to keep him from killing himself. That must’ve been why she saved him from falling off the bridge. She thought he was attempting suicide. He continued smiling. He wanted to laugh. A misunderstanding had given him the time of his life. That would’ve been an accident, if he had fallen, but that didn’t matter anymore. He got to spend the evening with a wonderful woman. This woman would’ve saved him either way. He was certain of it.

The two stood up. A group of people flooded the top of the building. They swarmed the roof with absolutely no purpose. He didn’t understand what was happening but he saw, in the corner of his eye, the railing break and Gou fall. He immediately grabbed her and tossed her into the crowd. This action caused him to lose his balance and he ended up falling instead. Ah, such great luck he had today. His only regret was the lingering emotions Gou would have to face for the rest of her life. She’d saved him. He saved her. In the end, he was dead either way, but that wasn’t her fault. He hoped that she knew this and wouldn’t have any regrets. There was nothing they could’ve done about it.

The ground became closer and closer at an alarming rate. Was he finally able to achieve the bravery he’d always hoped for? He wasn’t a coward in the end, right? A steady stream of tears escaped his eyes. Either from the wind or from the happiness of finally being able to achieve his lifelong goal. He closed his eyes and accepted his fate. Maybe this was meant to be. Was it bravery? Was it a self-sacrificing suicidal move? He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure it mattered at this point. The ground was already here. His consciousness was already gone.

A light appeared but darkness followed it. What was this? Is that a woman standing there? Or is it a shadow? He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t tell. Things were fuzzy. Was this death? “Welcome to your new home,” the shadow spoke. It reached out and grabbed him. He didn’t feel afraid. He didn’t want to run. It was comforting. “You shall leave your life behind you and take another step forward as a reaper. Welcome, Eric Slingby,” it said before leading him into the light.

Time passed and as he became more and more used to living the life of a reaper, and one day he saw it. He saw what he thought he remembered. He chased after her. He reached out and he grabbed her, only to find out it wasn’t the same person. But, he had no memories of who exactly it was that he was looking for. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I mistook you for someone. Although, I can’t remember who,” he laughed it off and pretended it was nothing. It was just his imagination. His mind playing tricks.

“Oh my,” the stranger smiled, “I wouldn’t mind going on a date with someone like you. Shall we call this fate? I didn’t know such cuties existed in this boring place.”

“Huh? No, I have work that I should be getting back to. I’m really sorry about the mixup, please carry on,” he became flustered and tried to get out of it. But, that wasn’t allowed.

“My name is Grell,” the stranger smiled and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go on a date. No matter how much work you do, it won’t stop people from dying. So, let’s have some fun, shall we? Oh, by the way, do you know how to play shogi?” Grell asked, with a grin. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually supposed to be Ronald's backstory but it ended up being more like Eric in my mind so I just made it his instead. I'll have to think up something else for Ronald. Whoops. I went and used Grell because I lowkey ship Ronald x Grell as that cute little Kouhai x Senpai thing. Plus. Titanic. Enough said. However, in the end it wasn't even Ronald's story. But the idea of Eric having a little crush on Grell before falling for Alan is incredibly adorable in my mind. Sorry, not sorry, but kind of sorry. 
> 
> Gou wasn't the same Gou as in Grell's backstory (not even the same time period). But if you imagined something similar to Grell, that's probably good too. I should stop using Grell so much but I can't help it. Grell is a great character. That's probably why Grell has the most interesting backstory so far. I'm so sorry...but then again...I'm also not.


End file.
